Thai Girls: Are They Good or Bad for you?
There are a thousand topics about Thai girls out there such as: finding a good Thai girl to marry, marry a Thai bar girl, how to find a “good Thai girl”?, advices for dating Thai girls etc. I would add a few questions more: Are you polite?, are you jealous?, do you respect Thai culture?, are you willing to pay for dowry? Do you respect Thailand?
First off let me say that there is no substantial difference between Thai girls and western girls, they didn’t come from another galaxy and you shouldn’t to behave with them in different way as you do with the girls of your country. However, be aware that Thai and Western cultures are quite different in many aspects so you should act accordingly. Most Thai girls are pretty similar to girls living in another place in the world. Each Thai girl has her own personality and since every girl is different we cannot judge them globally. Personally I believe that Thai girls are pretty good. Most of my best friends are Thai girls.
After many years in Thailand I noticed that if you respect Thai people, they will respect you as well, and if you are honest with your Thai girl, she will be honest with you. Keep in mind that Thai people is tired of drunk westerners and sexual tourists who don’t respect their country and culture. If you’re kind with them, they will be very good to you.
The best place to find a Thai girl is… Thailand! Yes, Thailand! however avoid to meet your lady in a club, venue or bar. The best place is at the market, cinema, commercial center, supermarket or even walking on the street. If you meet a girl in a club or bar she will be a bar girl, if you meet her walking on the street, in a shop or restaurant, probably she will be a honest, good natured, sincere, kind heart, easy-going, marriage-minded, faithful, and a romantic Thai girl.
Usually Thai girls are open-minded and don’t mind age, but they already have a dad, be reasonable. Since Thai girls are perhaps the most beautiful girls in the world, most of them look far better in real life than in picture. You’ll be surprised.
Most Thai girls are conservative by nature, so don’t trust a girl who agree to have sex with you by the first or even fourth date, a well-educated Thai girl wish to remain chaste until marriage. However, recently, some young Thai girls adopt western cultures such as sex before marriage, especially those living in Bangkok.
Online Dating Sites
The most dangerous place to find your soulmate is Internet. I’m talking about dating sites in general, not just in Thailand. Social networks are plenty of “honest, good natured, sincere, kind heart, easy-going, marriage-minded, faithful, romantic” girls from everywhere. They claim “I love children. I like cooking, travel and watch movies, I have sense of humor” etc. Behind these profiles there are many pretty decent girls while eventually many others may try to get money from you, sometimes she is not a girl but a guy or a gang trying to extort money from you. A typical way they use to get money from victims is “my mother got sick” or “I need money to pay the hospital bills”. Another scam is “my dad had an accident, please send me money”. I heard these stories in different occasions and surprisingly many men believe them and get scammed (Including myself years ago).
Profiles with girls posing with expensive clothing, in clubs, or traveling on a luxury yacht near a paradise island are not for you. Think about it before you make a decision: who paid the price of this? Possibly another guy like you, or many of them. Just look for a simple girl.
I don’t mean you can’t find your girl on Internet, just be careful, specially if the lady is young and beautiful and you’re in your 40s or 50s. Forget girls asking for money, most Thai girls never will ask you for money and never will talk about it.
Marrying a Thai girl
There are many successful Thai-Western couples, but honestly there are also lots of unsuccessful stories. What’s the problem then? The different cultures, misunderstandings, and of course financial problems. Thai girls marry western guys because is supposed that they are faithful and financially stable and polite, so girls believe foreigners will give them a happy life. For that reason westerners are the choice of many Thai girls. Nevertheless, most Thai girls prefer Thai guys, but not all.
However, money is not all for Thai girls, even more, I know several Thai girls who even won’t accept a gift or a dinner invitation, and many who invited me to lunch.
Thai girls dislike jealous, rude and disrespectful men, specially those who don’t respect the Thai culture and traditions, Thai girls look for nice guys. Thai girls just want to be “sabai” (happy) and have a good life and respectful husband. If you respect them, they will respect you. Thai girls are family-oriented, this mean that they help and respect their parents and family more than westerners do. Keep in mind that if you marry a Thai lady, probably you’ll need to assume economic responsibility for her family in some cases.
Thai culture expects men to pay a dowry. The dowry or (sin sot) is a sum of money, property or goods paid to the bride’s family at the time of the wedding. Many foreigners aren’t willing to pay any money to the bride’s parents, some of them say that pay a dowry is negotiate the sale of their daughter. The dowry is a Thai tradition as it is a common practice in many Asian countries and a way of show that you are financially stable. They won’t sell their daughter. In order to pay the dowry you must negotiate with your girlfriend’s parents. How much dowry do you need to pay? This is up to the family. I know some friends who didn’t pay any dowry but gave a compensation to the family such a car, small house (which is really cheap in Thailand), but some families could ask 100,000 THB, 200,000 THB up to 1.3 million THB or more if you marry a celebrity or eminence. But there are other families which also don’t ask for dowry, specially if their daughter is divorced and has kids, and even some parents don’t mind to get a dowry.
Anyway a wedding with a westerner girl in your country will be far more expensive.
Bar girls in Thailand
Many foreigners believe Thailand is a huge massage parlor and Thai girls make their living in bars and venues. This not true. Have you been in Las Ramblas, Barcelona? Amsterdam? There is a lot more of prostitution than in any average city in Thailand.
I agree that Thailand hosts many venues and bars, but most of them are located in certain tourist areas in Bangkok, Phuket, and of course in the infamous city of Pattaya. Most girls working there came from Northeastern Thailand (or Isan) the poorest area of Thailand, looking for a way to make easy money. The average salary in Isan is very low, around 6000 baht per month, so many girls are tempted to move to Pattaya in order to get money enough to help their families and also buy an iPhone, laptop or car and even to build a new house for their parents.
Nevertheless I noticed that most girls into prostitution didn’t go to college, many had children at young age and frequently their husband got away without paying child support, they became prostitutes because of economic necessity.
Someone said “bar girls don’t love you, they love your money”, anyway there are also good girls working in a bar, but unfortunately most of them lost their “innocence” after years meeting impolite and rude foreign (and local) customers. Some bar girls are married or have boyfriend and give part of their earnings to them. So some Thai guys don’t mind their girlfriends hit the clubs? I think so. Money talks.
Fortunately just a very small percent of Thai ladies are working in such bars and venues, most of the Thai women have decent jobs and are honest girls.
Worth to know:
- Don’t stay longtime far away from your Thai girlfriend. I don’t mean she will get another one, but certainly she could get bored of waiting.
- Even if you’re financially well-positioned, never show her your financial status. You may never know if she loves you or if she loves your money (it applies for European and American girls as well).
- Young Thai girls are very innocent, until they get bad experiences with guys and become brokenhearted.
- Contrary to certain myths, Thai women and generally all Asian women are NOT submissive but strong-willed and have strong personality.
- Thai girls do not show their feelings.
- Thai people and specially Thai girls tend to think that all “farangs” (westerners) are extremely rich.
- Thais are NOT poor. Thailand is not a poor country.
- Most Thai people are incredibly friendly and will respect you if you respect them and Thailand.